Powerthirst

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This article is about Space Sim Lore. It contains anecdotes or Spacesim mythology.

This beverage, purchased at the Quickie by "Space Jesus", resulted in GRATUITOUS Powerthirst jokes

Powerthirst refers to a video circulated on the Internet advertising a fictitious energy drink by the same name. During Mission Red Dawn, the video was carried by Commander Hotson aboard the Habitat using his iPod Touch, and was used as part of various experiments as a way to distract the astronaut being observed. As a result of its inherent memorable nature, and the fact that it was played and watched numerous times, the video became locked in the memory. Thus it served as the basis of many references and jokes among the astronauts and, after the mission, the general member population.

Transcript of the Video

HEY! Do you want to feel SO ENERGETIC?
Try POWERTHIRST! Energy drink for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY.
With all new flavours like SHOCKOLATE! Chocolate energy; its like adding chocolate to an ELECTRICAL STORM!
Sound the alarm, you are going to feel UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC.
What's that!? You want strawberry? Well, how about RAWWW-berry!? Made with lightening, REAL LIGHTENING!
Sports. AGHHHH!!! You'll be good at them.
It's an energy drink for men. MENERGY!!
These aren't your dad's puns, these are energy puns. TURBO-PUNS!
Science, energy, science, energy. Electrolytes, turbolights, powerlights. More lights than YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!
You'll be so fast that mother nature will be like: "sloooowww ddoooowwwnnnnnn", and you'll be like "fuck you!" and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS.
You'll have so much energy, AGHHHH! Just running all the time!
Power running. Power lifting. Power sweeping. Power dating. Power eating. Power laughing. Power spawning BABIES! You'll have so many babies. 400 BABIES!
Give Powerthirst to your babies, and they'll be good at sports! Make your babies run ABNORMALLY FAST!
They'll run as fast as KENYANS!
People will watch them running and think they are KENYANS!
They'll race as fast as KENYANS!
Against actual KENYANS!
And there will be a time when they'll get deported back to KENYYAAAA!
Hey! Go with the sure thing, don't gamble on your energy.
Snake eyeeess...
Try POWERTHIRST! The energy drink that will make you ARHHHH! Sports! ARHHHH!